The end of the holidays and the back to school children: a delicate moment also for parents which can be a cause of considerable stress within the family.
“It can take some time to get back to the routine we were used to before the holidays, with stricter schedules and tighter commitments and deadlines. During the summer holidays, we could sleep more or spend more time with our loved ones, we could procrastinate without too much guilt, or we could indulge in a few extra whims,” he points out. Federica Ciccanti, teacher and mfamily publisher, author of the book “Easy Rules. Happy Parents (and Kids Too).”
“However, going back to school should not be scary,” continues Dr. Ciccanti.. “By adopting certain behaviors and not forgetting the rules, we can make this moment less tiring for both the children and for mom and dad.”
Let’s take a detailed look at his advice for better living through this phase of change.
teacher in class (GettyImages)
Back to school, advice for parents
1. Enthusiasm. This is the first key word, because children perceive our state of mind. The first thing we parents should do is infect our children with our enthusiasm. Returning to school activities means learning something new, meeting classmates, meeting new people and teachers, new concepts that will surely be useful in life.
2. Improve. Whether you are about to start primary school or continue your educational journey, Let's not scare our children with homework the education and training paths that await them. We value all positive things that they will be able to learn and the new acquaintances they will make, such as new classmates or new teachers. In this regard, parents will have to prepare their children, dedicating moments to listening to their fears, as well as the fear of not feeling up to par in front of others, perhaps because they do not like their physical appearance.
3. Dialogue. Often, parents prepare for the start of the school year by being hyper-organized on all levels (books, notebooks, transport schedules, classroom discussions, gym layout, music school schedules, etc.) forgetting to talk to their children and forgetting how to do it, to the point that this organization can leave everyone breathless. Ok for organization and planning, which are essential for everything to run smoothly with as few surprises as possible, but Let's not forget to talk to our children about how they feel.what worries them, what can make them happy, what they expect or what could make them think of failure.
4. Promote autonomy. If they are about to start or continue their studies in college, parents must take into account encourage greater autonomy in children. Enough, more or less gradually, of “I'll help you with your homework”. The three years of middle school are the time before the big leap that will lead to high school, and like all the important leaps that life asks us to make, it must be prepared and practiced in time. So we teach them to plan the time spent on homework, to ask them what result they expect (not what result we expect!) and how they would like to spend their free time.
5. You can make mistakes. No individual is immune to mistakes. Not even us, not even our children. In fact, making mistakes is a tool to understand how to do better. As parents, we should not fix our children's mistakes.but we should help them understand where they went wrong. This attitude is much more useful than direct intervention by the parent, because children know that we are there for them, without taking their place. Children thus learn that they can manage on their own and strengthen their autonomy.
6. Avoid too many extracurricular commitments. Yes to sports or other extracurricular activities that are good for the body and mind, but we don't insist on doing it do something at all costs what children might perceive as a demand for additional performance. These extracurricular moments should above all be a pleasure, and not a space to fill. The risk is that children will abandon these activities, thus increasing the feeling of frustration and inadequacy that they may already feel elsewhere. In short, we listen to their needs.
7. Comparison. This is another key word to keep in mind. Comparison should never be filled with judgments.and this requires, above all, listening to others. If our children are about to enter high school or continue on this path, it means that they are teenagers. And this phase of life, as we know, is an extremely delicate time. Because this is where the need to belong to the peer group emerges, it is now that they feel the need to feel equal to others but at the same time different. We explain to them that diversity is a richness and we value the particularities of our children.
8. Give rules. Children need to know that we are there and that we will support them. That we will be there when they make mistakes, that we will help them understand where they went wrong. Basically, they need a safe haven. Give rulesdepending on the child's age in managing tasks and saying no at the right time, it helps them on the path to healthy autonomy.
